"the after" is a companion poster project that is self directed to cover the idea of after: what follows after a loss of a person or of yourself. It covers the intricacies of self value and preservation through what comes after. Taking two personal narratives and reconstructing them artfully in a way to convey the pieces of yourself that remain after, and what to look forward to as it comes.
red socks
The first piece that voices my 'after': the after of loss.
"red socks" voices the after of losing love and personal loss, losing someone in your heart and in your physical life. In order to feel yourself in this after, you have to find peace in reflection and joy in memories.
The handwritten notes in the foreground is a journal entry. One that is born from loss and pain in the losing. The writing conveys the emotion, although not necessarily through what is being written but rather through the visual that it creates. This pain becomes the forefront of the after
"red socks"–in honor of my late father who wore red socks each day–features self portraiture, handwritten notes, imagery of homelands, song lyrics about love and loss, distorted illustration, and bubble wrap as a signal of care and protection in the after. It speaks sitting with pain and deprivation, and how behind the pain will come comfort and peace. Finding truth and love in the past memories that can make what comes next feel attainable, and finding yourself in the after becomes supported by the joy that came before.
"soon i would be flooded with sympathy"
This piece uncovers theme of familial loss. Losing a parent, a father you were extremely close to. There are feelings of grief, and of appreciation for sympathy but confusion about positive feelings in such a time. The after is their memories in you and how you carry them through the rest of your life.
i exist.
The second of two pieces that seeks to voice the 'after'.
The first speaks to losing part of yourself, losing your heart and in essence your soul. In order to feel yourself in the after, you have to shed your skin.
The poem, "The Orange" by Wendy Cope is one that I see myself and my experiences in: finding mundane experiences to fuel joy and love in your life during the 'after'. Finding contentment with being alive and beauty in the normalities of daily occurrences.
"i exist." features self portraiture, handwritten notes, imagery of objectification and bubble wrap as a signal of packaging up this moment in time on the journey to the after. It speaks to feeling human, and to not knowing how to cope. Further, to finding breath in the emptiness of the after and even comfort in the idea that what comes next feels real, and more defined than what came before.
"i dont need to be strong,
i need to be loved"
This piece uncovers themes of survival after traumatic experience and the journey of self re-discovery. The image pushes these ideas to the viewer in an non-overwhelming way, and creates relatability in the visuals whether or not sexual violence can be personally related to. The after is who you are from this time and how you can continue to be, undefined by what is done.
